I've been through every underwear trend there is. Granny panties, men's boxers, bikinis, commando and my current favorite, thongs. The one undie trend that never stuck with me was women's briefs. I hate them with a vengeance. Why? Crawlage. That's a large part of the reason why I wear thongs now, and why out of frustration I went through my commando phase. Nothing is more uncomfortable than a fistful of fabric crammed between your butt cheeks.

So it was with great trepidation that I approached my new Hippie Skivvies French-Cut Briefs. They were cute and all, what with the dual tone green tie-dye and show-offable waistband. I was pretty sure that they'd do the trick as far as underwear is concerned, so my big test for them was the Crawl Test. For me, that's what was going to make or break this underwear.

Test 1: At Home Chores.
My first day with the Hippie Skivvies briefs was spent cleaning house. I spent the day bending and scrubbing and reaching... I couldn't have gotten more physical unless I went to the gym. The undies stayed put. No matter how much I squished and contorted my body to scrub under the bathtub, they wouldn't move. Hm. One day down, two more tests to go. Of course, they went into the washer between tests.

Test 2: At The Gym.
Speaking of more physical... On this day I really worked it out. 20 minutes on the Precor! 15 on the Stairmaster! Biking! Weights! Sit ups! Oh man, and can I say I was sweating like a pig? I guess that doesn't really have anything to do with the review, but, you know. So yes, after all of that, no crawling. Even on the walk home! Was this some new kind of cotton/Lycra blend that I hadn't heard of before? I wasn't totally convinced yet, because there was still one more test to try...

Test 3: The Tight Pant Test.
Naturally the panty lines wouldn't go away, but that's not always such a bad thing. The thing about wearing briefs with tight pants is, well, the tight pants help them crawl. So out on the town I went. Walking, sitting, going clothes shopping and trying on another pair of pants...

They

Didn't

Move!

I can't even begin to describe to you how shocked I was. Three tries, no squinching! I was crawl-free! My bum was a happy bum! I'm not about to give up my thongs, mind you, but I don't emit a groan when those briefs are next in my undie pile. In fact, I put "Incense and Peppermints" on the stereo and danced around. With my shades closed, of course.

Rating: UUUU (of 5)